Why I choose selflove over a partner

Today is my birthday. And like clockwork, the same question keeps coming my way:

Why are you still single?

I wish I had an easy answer. I wish I could just say, “Because I haven’t found the right one.” But the truth is heavier than that.

I had love. Real love. Or at least, I thought I did.

She is my Koko the one who made me feel whole, like I was finally enough. Brown-skinned, tall, with a gap tooth and dimples that could make the world pause. She wasn’t just someone I loved, she was my safe place, my home.

But homes can become haunted by absence.

Slowly, she drifted. Her once warm attention turned cold. Her time stretched too thin for me. Her love slipped through my fingers like sand. No explanations, no real reason, just the painful realization that maybe… I wasn’t a priority anymore.

I held on. I fought for what we had. But have you ever begged for someone’s attention and felt like a fool?

That’s when it hit me:

She didn’t see the potential in me.

And that broke me.

But instead of chasing someone who didn’t believe in my future, I turned inward. I chose to build myself instead of breaking apart for love that wouldn’t stand beside me. I focused on my dreams, my growth, my purpose. And honestly? That has been the best thing for me.

Yet… if I said I was completely fine, I’d be lying. Some nights, the memories creep in. The way she smiled. The way she said my name. The way I once felt like I had everything I ever wanted.

I miss love. I miss her.

But I don’t miss feeling unseen.

So to those who keep asking, “Why are you still single?” the answer is simple:

I refuse to trade my time, my dreams, and my worth for someone who isn’t willing to build with me.

I still believe in love. I still crave the kind of love that lifts, nurtures, and stays. But I won’t settle for anything less than what I deserve.

And to those feeling this same ache, my advice?

Build your life before you build a relationship. Because the right person won’t make you choose between love and your dreams they’ll build with you.

Happy birthday to me. And here’s to a future where love finds me whole not waiting to be seen.